The Meandering

“Mapping today’s session beautifully held by Rae

I began in the centre of the page, gently creating an orb as I storied my recent discomfort during a recent Clinical Psychology session (Let’s call the Psych Zee for this tale).

As I relayed frustration around how the timing of Zee’s epic/loaded question delivered right at the end of our session (despite my explicit request asking them not to go there) I drew straight(ish) lines cascading down. My pencil almost tore through the page.

More delving into the intricacies of my vulnerability with Zee and my growing sense that this relationship was creating a fugue of inequity and powerlessness elicited a brown blurry blob, with red explosions as we worked through my fawning response, the pressure I felt to answer Zee’s unsafe question… frenetic red and orange scribbles as I prioritised their experience of the therapy session over my own.

Not able to say that I wasn’t comfortable made green searing lines on the page - re-feeling my history of the unproductive pathology wheel created blue fuzzy smooshes - wanting to return to the original reason I had engaged Zee  - seeing the value of exploring childhood trauma with Zee rendered a looming house with a tiny red door.

Working through the possibility of communicating directly to Zee grief/fear came out in tears upon the page and those lovely red crosses. Boundary time is upon us. Again. Yellow smears impregnate with the wet blue, and so we have mustard moments.

Dark shards popped up along the base as I understood I was feeling trapped in the relationship with Zee, where can I go from here if I want to work through my original reason for seeking care from them…is such a rupture repairable?

Possibilities abound as I now behold the map.“

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#creativeandexperientialtherapies #artmapping #processingthroughart #rupturerepair #boundaries