Formula for Misgendering

As Non-Binary Awareness Week ends, I have been thinking about what it means to really listen.

Not just to hear words, but to take them in. To respond with care, not defensiveness. To stay with the discomfort when harm is named, instead of shifting the focus or shutting it down.

If you misgender someone, how you respond matters. This simple graphic is a helpful reminder:

1. Acknowledge it happened

Centre their feelings and listen

2. Give a simple sorry

But do not make the sorry about you

3. Correct yourself

By using their chosen pronoun(s)

4. With their consent, move on

Unless they need you to listen more

If someone tells you they have been misgendered, listen. Do not minimise the impact. Do not explain it away. Do not make it about your intentions.

You don’t get to decide what’s best for the person you misgendered. Listening means trusting their experience and honouring their repair needs.

We deserve to be heard the first time. We are the experts in what we need. We deserve care, respect and recognition, not just this week, but every day.

Formula for Misgendering by Rae Sabine

Email: creatingwellbeingmelbourne@gmail.com

#misgendering #misgendered #misgender #pronounsmatter #pronounsareimportant